Brush
by LSpade
Summary: AU Season 8. Clark makes a choice between his heart and his fears. Two ladies, two very different situations.


**This one is another AU. Seeing as how we have to right the wrong of season 8. So, this one takes place between **_**Legion**_** and **_**Bulletproof**_**. Enjoy.**

**DISCLAIMER: Once again, no ownership.**

(((o)))

He heard it from Oliver that she was home. Oliver, of all people, told him that she took a plane home from Star City a few weeks early and she was currently working from home. He told him that he was the only one she'd allow to visit her once she got back. Not Clark, but Oliver. He knew staying in the apartment must have been tough for her since she's such a social butterfly; since for Lois, being confined within four walls would eventually drive her to insanity. But what was tough for him was the notion that she didn't let him know herself she was home. No phone call, no text message, no e-mail…nothing; as if she found it unnecessary to let him know she was back. Was he that meaningless to her?

He sighed and fumbled with his telescope in his loft. He'd been attempting to preoccupy himself with pointless tasks to exert some of his restless energy; but, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't veer his thoughts away from the feisty brunette.

Lois Lane.

The mere thought of her name sent chills throughout his body. It was amazing how much could change in a few short years. He couldn't fathom when his thoughts of Lois went from irritation to yearning. All he knew now was that every moment he spent without her he couldn't function properly.

Clark clenched his jaw; he was going nowhere with the telescope. He let his hands drop away from the contraption and moved over to his desk. His heart was heavy, weighed down by a one-sided love and the guilt stirring from the arrival of his past love. He exhaled deeply through his nose and his eyes caught sight of something on his desk. There, sitting by a stack of old textbooks and a flickering vintage lamp, was a small photo of Lois. She was unaware of the camera at the time; they were out with Chloe and Oliver one weekend, taking a jet ride to some foreign country simply because they could. Lois was too busy laughing at something Chloe had did or said and Clark couldn't help but snap a photo of her grinning so wide her eyes narrowed until they almost looked closed. The sun was shining of her hair and she looked so radiant. Clark swore he never swooned from a photo in his entire life before.

He smiled sadly at the photo. It was likely Lois had no idea that photo was even there, otherwise he would have heard an earful about it already. Clark shook his head. He didn't want to brood about this.

"You miss her." It wasn't a question.

Clark turned to see Lana at the head of the stairs in the loft. She had sympathetic smile on her face, one that portrayed both sadness and understanding. He smiled and picked up the frame. "It's funny how much you realize what someone means to you when they're gone."

Lana nodded and moved over to him. "I can relate," she smiled slightly.

"I think we need to talk," he said, placing the photo back on his desk.

"I guess I saw that coming," she said with a light nod of her head and the two sat on the couch.

"Look, about that DVD..."

"Clark, Lex made me do that. It wasn't the way I would have said goodbye."

He pressed his lips together. "But you still would've said it."

"No, that's not what I meant," she shook her head.

"It's okay. I think all that video really did was open my eyes to the truth," he said. He turned his body to hers and gently held her hands in his. "Lana, we were over way before you disappeared. It was over before you and Lex got married. What we were doing…it wasn't right, but we loved each other so much that we threw logic out of the window and tried to make it work even though, deep down we both knew we weren't meant to be. I thought about this a lot after you left. We were never happy for too long and a relationship shouldn't be as hard as it was for us. There was always something breaking us apart and I'll admit my secret had a lot to do with it, but you and me…love…it shouldn't be that hard to be together, right?"

Lana smiled sadly. "When you look at it that way, you make our relationship sound so romantic."

Clark laughed softly. "When you love someone, you feel good every time you think about them. You can't help but smile when you see them. When you and I were together, I never felt that level of happiness, you know? There was always something holding me back." When he saw tears gather in her eyes, he immediately felt remorse. He reached a hand up to brush her hair back. "I'm sorry if this is hard to hear."

"No," Lana sniffled. "No, we need to talk about this. You're not lying when you say we never had that happiness before. I know it's true. I've felt it. But that doesn't change the fact that I love you."

"I know. I love you, too. I'll always love you, but as a good friend. We've been through so much on our journey, and it's bittersweet to end it on a friendship level. But, I'm glad we got all of this cleared up."

"Me, too. Clark, we've given each other something no one ever can," Lana said, placing a hand to his cheek. "A first love. We thought we were meant to be together, but the truth is you need someone who understands you completely; an equal. We've changed so much over the course of our relationship, we've grown apart. What the past years has shown us is that we could never keep up with each other. I guess it's time to go our separate ways, but we're in each other's hearts, Clark. I will always be with you, no matter what."

"This doesn't have to be an indefinite goodbye. I'm sure our paths will cross in the future," he said, hopefully.

"Well, until then, I'll have to keep my distance." She stood up from the couch and he followed suit. "After all, we do have to write our destinies, don't we?"

Clark smiled at the reference of their earlier conversation and pulled her into him. He placed a chaste kiss on her lips before wrapping his arms around her in a comforting hug. "Bye, Lana."

"Goodbye, Clark." She smiled once more before leaving the loft, but stopped on the stairs. "Oh, and one more thing. Don't forget to tell Lois how you feel. We both know what happens when you wait until the last minute."

Clark grinned and watched her walk away and for the first time, he didn't feel pain. He didn't even feel sad. He was finally happy.

(((o)))

"Well, you can tell the editor that he's not going to get a better article than mine," Lois snapped into her cell phone. There was some chatter on the other end, which resulted in an eye roll, and she was, again, ranting right into the receiver.

After what seemed to be a compromise, Lois hung up her phone and tossed it onto the kitchen counter. Working from home was harder than she thought since she couldn't very well march into the editor's office and give him a piece of her mind from home. She shook her head, seemingly shaking off the stress, and returned her attention to the many pages of notes scattered before her. Nothing was really making sense, so she sighed and rubbed her temples.

"I'm getting nowhere," she grumbled. "And I'm hungry." She maneuvered around the counter to get to the fridge.

While her head is practically in the fridge, she didn't acknowledge the front door being opened and closed. "When were you going to tell me you were back?"

Lois, momentarily startled, jumped at the sound of his voice and turned to see the intruder. "You know, I should really start locking the door," she replied.

"So?" he prodded. "When were you gonna tell me?"

"You'd eventually find out, so I figured what's the point?" She shrugged nonchalantly, turning to the freezer and pulling out a tub of ice cream.

"What's the point?" Clark stepped up to the counter, dumbfounded and angry with her behavior. "The point is I think I would be important enough to you that you'd at least pick up the phone to let me know you were home."

Lois's eyes flashed in fury for the briefest of seconds, Clark had to wonder if he imagined it. "Well, obviously someone told you I was back, so there you go. I didn't need to waste my minutes calling you."

His face gave away the hurt he felt. "After all this time, do I really mean that little to you?"

"Don't talk to me about what you mean to me when you can just-" She stopped herself and took a deep breath. "Look, let's not argue about this."

"Isn't that what we do best?" Clark tried to lighten the mood.

"Maybe, but right now, I need to straighten out a few things. So, could you just leave?" She gestured to the door.

He looked at her for a moment. "We need to talk about Chloe's wedding."

"Please don't bring up that tragedy. It's not something I want to dwell on, so…"

"Lois, the night wasn't all bad. I mean, Chloe and Jimmy did pledge their lives to each other and we got a good dance in and-"

"And Lana came in and swept you away, then some horny toad looking thing crashed the wedding and the night was blown to hell," Lois finished with a jerk nod and dug a spoon into the ice cream. "Yeah, a lot of good came out of that blessed event." Lois rolled her eyes.

"Is that what's bothering you?" Clark asked, only one part of her statement coming out loud and clear to him. "That Lana broke up our dance?"

"Of course not," she quickly answered his question. "It was good she did. That would entitle the awkward dial to go way up between us if we…you know."

"Kissed?" He couldn't help the small smile on his face.

"Yeah, that." She risked a glance at him as she spooned some more ice cream into her mouth.

"We should talk about it," he said.

"Or, we could just table it and move on."

"Lois, you have to know…I didn't mean to- well, there's just a lot of…I-I wanted to-" He couldn't quite form what he wanted to say.

"Clark, you don't have to explain. I know how you get every time Lana's around," she said, ditching her ice cream for her notes. "It's not exactly a newsflash."

"No, I was just confused and a little afraid of what was happening," he replied.

"That doesn't explain why you ran back to Lana. But really, Clark. It's none of my business. Why should I care what you do with your love life?" Lois began fiddling with the files splayed out by the sink.

"I wasn't ready to give up my old life. I turned to Lana because she was easier. I knew what I was getting into taking her back. With you, I didn't know if my heart could take the rejection. I didn't know we had a chance."

"Had being the key word." Her words didn't come out harsh or cold, but defeated; weary of the situation's heaviness on her heart. "Clark, I understand why you did what you did, but that notion doesn't make me feel any less hurt. When you set eyes on Lana, I slipped away and you didn't even realize I was gone. I get that you needed closure, but hopping back into the same destructive relationship means that whatever you felt for me…it doesn't compare to what you feel for her. And I understand." Her eyes clouded over with tears. "I do."

Clark took a step forward, willing her to see what was in his heart. "Lois, you don't understand. I've never felt this way about anyone. I…When I'm with you, I'm at my best. I can let loose. I feel like I can do anything. I never had that before. Even with Lana; she never accepted me for who I am. She was always asking more of me or blinded by something that wasn't me." He closed the distance between, but still resisted to lay a hand on her. "I was an idiot, nothing short of a complete fool. I couldn't see what was right in front of me until it was too late. I messed up and I wish I could take it all back. But I can't and I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life. With Lana, I still held myself back from her. And I couldn't stop thinking about you. You're all I can focus on and that scares me. I need you so much. I ended things once and for all with her before anything happened. I was just plain stupid for letting you walk away from me that night when all I wanted to do was wrap you in my arms and never let go. Lois, it's you. It's always been you."

The tears she tried so hard to keep at bay slipped down her cheeks, one by one. She shook her head. "Clark, I wish I could believe you. But I can't erase this fear that I'll be left behind again."

"I would never leave you behind. I won't let you down, I promise," he pleaded with her.

Lois looked into his eyes and she could see them shine with unshed tears. He looked so vulnerable, it made her heart ache even more. She gingerly placed her hand on his cheek. "I don't know what to say."

Clark nodded sadly. A tear slipped from his eye and grazed along the skin of her hand. He quickly stepped back and wiped it away. "I understand. I didn't expect you to just forgive me. I know I hurt you too much. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I really am and I'm sorry that sorry isn't enough."

"Clark-"

"No. You don't have to say anything."

"I'm sorry it's like this between us. I guess it just wasn't meant to be," she said softly. An unequivocal sight of pain flashed over his face before he looked down at the ground. She grimaced; funny how just one sentence could shattered two hearts. She remained stoic, though. "Hey, we can just forget the past few weeks ever happened and go back to being friends."

Clark clenched his jaw. "I can't be your friend, Lois."

That stung. "Look, I know you're hurt, but we can be friends. I won't ever bring up this brush of romance again," she said hopefully.

He shook his head. "I can't be _just_ your friend. That would hurt too much. I love you too much to ever be just your friend again."

Lois was taken aback. "Love? You said love just now. What is that about?"

"I love you, Lois. I've loved you for a long time, I just didn't know what it was or how to process it without you feeling the same way. I know now is not the time to tell you, since we're stuck in the friend zone, but I don't want another day to go by without you knowing exactly how I feel about you."

He turned to walk away. Lois stared at his retreating back for a moment. "No! Clark, come back here! You can't just say that and then try to walk away."

"Well, how do you want to leave this conversation, Lois?" he asked, feeling the frustration seeping in.

"Why would you say you love me?"

He looked at her as if she'd grown two heads in the last few seconds. "Because I do. Why else would I tell you?"

"Why are you trying to complicate things? We're already on eggshells with this…" She waved her hand impatiently in the space amid them. "This thing happening between us."

"Lois, I'm not trying to complicate things!" He raised his voice slightly. "Stop trying to blame everything on me. You have just as much to do with this as I do."

"What the hell are you talking about?" She shot back, crossing her arms over her chest defensively.

"There are these moments where I'm pretty sure I can see something in your eyes that tell me you feel the same way about me as I do you," he replied, taking a step toward her.

"You need to get your eyes checked," she bit out.

"You need to stop ignoring that there is something between us that is worth exploring. Why are you acting like this doesn't affect you?"

"I am not Lana!" She yelled at him, too aggravated with the fight to rationalize her behavior. "I know your wheelhouse and I am nowhere even close to being your type. There is no way you could fall in love with me."

Clark was slightly taken aback by her outburst, but at least he knew why she was trying to sweep their current state under the rug. He advanced on her again. "I never asked you to be Lana. I fell in love with you because you're so…so Lois and no one has ever treated me the way you do. That's what I need. Some wild cherry in my life. That's how I know the love I feel for you is real."

Lois's bottom lip trembled at the reference to the advice she'd given him months ago. She never dreamed she'd be his wild cherry; but here he was, proclaiming his love for her and all she could do was crawl back into her protective shell; though she could feel the fight draining out of her. "Don't say it if it isn't true." She hated herself for sounding so vulnerable.

"I mean every word I say; I love you, with everything that I am and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it." He raised a hand to her cheek and brushed away a stray tear that spilled from her eye. "I promise I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. Just don't shut me out." Lois looked him in the eye and she believed him. He wouldn't lie to her now. She nodded her approval and he placed a kiss on her forehead. "I should go."

"I…" She hesitated.

"You don't have to. I'm not forcing you to say anything you don't feel." He gave her a small, sad smile and walked to the door.

"Smallville," she called out.

He turned to look at her and Clark had barely any time to react. Lois ran to him and threw herself into his arms. Her lips immediately sought out his in a passionate – almost feral – kiss. His arms wrapped around her tightly, lifting her against his body until her feet parted from the ground as he eagerly kissed her back. Only the lack of oxygen broke them apart and Lois braced her forehead on his.

Her eyes were closed and she had the goofiest smile gracing her lips. After collecting a few breaths, she lifted her head to look at him properly. "I love you, too."

The most beautiful smile adorned Clark's face. "Really?" he asked shyly.

"Do I ever say anything I don't mean?"

"No." His arms tightened around her and he nuzzled his nose against hers. "I love you so much. I promise, I'll do anything to prove it."

"You don't have to prove anything to me," she shook her head. "I know you."

Clark laughed. "You know me, but you didn't know how much I love you."

"Shut up and kiss me, idiot," she grinned.

He kissed her again, turning to press her against the wall. She wrapped her legs around his hips to hold herself around him. His hands trailed up her sides to her face where he cupped her cheeks and forced her to part her lips under his insistent tongue. Lois happily obliged and moaned when his tongue swirled around hers. Her hands gripped the edge of his shirt and clumsily began to pull it up.

"Mmwait…wait, Lois," Clark managed to grumble against her lips. "Wait."

"What's wrong?" she asked, her nerves getting to her.

Noting the look in her eyes, he quickly kissed her to ease her mind. "It's not you…definitely not you." He grinned at the small smile gracing her kiss-swollen lips. "It's me. I have to tell you something before we go any further."

"You're not married, are you?" she teased him. "Because I think I would know if you tied the knot recently."

He smiled. "I'm not married, but what I'm about to tell you might change how you feel about me."

Lois looked at him lovingly. She grasped his face in her hands. "Nothing you tell me could ever change how I feel about you."

"Right, okay," he took a deep breath before speaking. "Well, you know the Red-Blue Blur?"

"Of course," she replied.

"I know he's been calling you," he said.

Confusion swept over her features. "How…?"

"I'm the Blur."

She stared at him disbelievingly for a long moment before slapping him in the chest. "No way."

"Yes way," he smiled. He gripped her body close to his and supersped into her bedroom.

Before she knew it, he had her pressed into the bed. Lois grinned in shock. "Oh, my god. We have to do that again!"

"Maybe another time," he chuckled, then his features became somber. "Are you okay with this? Who I am?"

"Oh, Smallville," she shook her head and pulled him into a passionate kiss. "This just makes me love you even more."

Clark leaned back and just stared at her. He couldn't take his eyes off her; she was just flawless.

"Okay, stop looking at me like that or you're going to give me a complex," she joked.

"I'm sorry, I just…I've never been happier than in this moment," he said, sincerely.

"Oh, just wait a few minutes. You'll be on cloud nine," she taunted and flipped him onto his back. She moved to straddle his hips.

"Well, by all means, Miss Lane," he smirked up at her, resting his hands behind his head. "I'm at your mercy."

"Now that's what I like to hear!" She leaned down to kiss him again. "Oh, and just so you know, this isn't just some kinda brush of romance. This is not just a fling. This is real."

"This is the one," he replied, bringing his hands down to her waist and pulling her flush against him. Their faces was mere inches apart and his whisper caressed her face. "You are the one."

**Finito! I finished this amazing one shot! Review, favorite, follow, do whatever you want, but don't leave me in suspense on what you think!**


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